Single, Married, Kids? Does my relationship status matter?
I’ve had a bit of a bee in my bonnet for a while now about my relationship status and the way it’s effecting my social circles, my family time and my day-to-day life. You see, my relationship status might not have changed but as I enter into my mid-thirties what is changing is it’s context. So what better place to talk about it than here on Steph’s Bubble.
While it goes without saying that I love my friends and family very much, we’re at a time in our lives when we’re all moving in new directions and learning to adapt to each other in our new state of play.
Bridget Jones wanted a husband. I’ll settle for happiness.
Single woman of my age tend to be viewed as a bit ‘Bridget Jones’. While I can be just as daft or clueless as Bridget at times, have a tendency to hog the microphone at Karaoke log my life in a blog rather than a diary, what separates Bridget and I, is our ambitions. Bridget wanted a husband, a romance and a fairytale. I am just looking to maintain a lifestyle that keeps me happy, interested and interesting. All the rest is just icing and sprinkles on the top of my already pretty delicious cupcake of a life.
This is all perfectly acceptable to me but when your friends find love and start settling down to have kids, that’s when things start to change. The people are the same but the conversation is different.
What’s new? I love hearing the latest stories about their families, seeing my friends happy and exchanging advice and ideas with some of the Mumpreneurs.
What do I miss? Being about to talk about my job, travelling, the things I’ve seen and done without it feeling guilty about my freedom. Spontaneous nights out and being able to book time with friends without them consulting their other half or family diaries first.
What do I resent? The times when being 33, single and child-free seems to be a bit of a dirty word. The assumption that you are unhappy as you are, not trying hard enough to find a man or that you’ve sold your soul to your career and have no desire to have a family of your own. And I know for a fact that I not I’m not alone when I say, I absolutely hate hearing these words:
‘Have you tried internet dating? Loads of people meet that way now and you are always online. You should give it a go!’
Your relationship status doesn’t matter. Your happiness does.
Regardless as to whether I choose to keep my single status, my friends and I are all moving in new directions with our lives and things are constantly changing and evolving. We all look to each other in admiration of the things we’d like to have ourselves whether that’s the perfect handbag, man or baby is besides the point. What does matter is that in spite of the new parameters, my friends are my friends because they are awesome. And… being single is pretty awesome too!